❌JOHN HAYWOOD – BOLTON❌

“I Had to Mourn Someone Who Was Still Alive” — Woman Speaks Out After Surviving Years of Abuse by John Haywood

Rebecca Anderson-Walker says she lived in fear for years after reconnecting with John Haywood, from Bolton, a man she had known from her teenage years. What began as a rekindled romance turned into a nightmare of control, isolation, physical violence, and repeated breaches of court orders — including restraining orders and prison sentences.

“Because of you, I had to mourn someone who is still alive.”

Rebecca first met Haywood when she was 18, but it wasn’t until March 2023 that he reached out via Facebook. The relationship progressed quickly, with Haywood initially presenting himself as charming and devoted.

“He was good in the beginning… things were really nice. He was the doting boyfriend — but it didn’t last long.”

Within weeks, the cracks began to show. Jealousy, manipulation, and possessiveness became overwhelming. Haywood scrutinised her every move, often accusing her of being interested in other men — including his own brother-in-law.

“He would say things like, ‘You really want him, don’t you? I can tell in your eyes.’ He’d accuse me of laughing at people, or looking too long at a stranger.”

Even routine outings turned into opportunities for coercion. Rebecca says she was fearful even going to the supermarket with him.

“I had to be careful how long I even looked in the direction of another man… it was draining.”

Haywood pressured her to give up her job, move in with him, and have more children. He falsely claimed to own businesses, including a gym and a garage, branding himself “Miami John” due to his muscular build. In reality, he was unemployed — spending his time at the gym while pretending to leave for work each day.

“The pressure was relentless. He was timing how long I took to get home. He wanted to take over everything — my job, my home, my life.”

When they were apart, he would call or message constantly, often remaining on the phone with her throughout her entire commute.

When Haywood didn’t get his way, his behaviour turned vicious. He sent abusive messages, made misogynistic comments on social media, and began publicly shaming Rebecca online. At one point, he physically assaulted her, leaving visible bruises and injuries. Images from that time show bruises to her neck, chest, and arms.

“When I didn’t do what he wanted, he turned nasty. He started using social media to abuse me, saying vile things.”

Eventually, Rebecca ended the relationship. But things took a darker turn.

Haywood broke into her home more than once. In one instance, he entered while she was in the bath and climbed into her bed. On another occasion, he reached through the kitchen window and convinced her young son to help him gain access.

“He was obsessed. He was dangerous.”

Rebecca called the police, asking them to formally warn him off. For a time, there was silence. She went on holiday with her mother, but while away, she received word that Haywood’s sister had died. Feeling sympathy, she made contact again.

“He said he wasn’t eating, that he needed emotional support. I ended up getting pulled back in.”

They spoke for two weeks. Rebecca didn’t tell her family or friends — by then, she was emotionally and physically isolated.

On her 30th birthday, Rebecca went out with friends. As she sat in the back of an Uber heading home, her phone lit up with dozens of missed calls and messages — all from Haywood.

Just hours later, he showed up, locked her inside her own home, and sexually assaulted her.

The attack would become the focal point of two exhausting criminal trials. During court proceedings, evidence of Haywood’s threats and history of violence was laid bare. His past included:

• • A pattern of domestic violence and controlling behaviour
• • Ten or more arrests for repeated breaches of restraining orders
• • A five-year restraining order imposed by the court
• • Multiple custodial sentences, including a 28-day sentence in 2021 and a later 14-month prison sentence

While in custody, monitored phone calls revealed Haywood had made ongoing threats, including sending someone to the victim’s grandmother’s house and discussing plans to post humiliating videos online.

Eventually, Haywood was convicted and sentenced. But Rebecca believes that’s only part of the battle.

“He took everything from me. My safety, my peace, my confidence. I had to mourn someone who was still alive.”

Her decision to speak out is driven by a desire to help others trapped in similar cycles of abuse. Her strength and voice have not only brought justice — but also hope.